the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
