So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
