At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
tell me about the fingering
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