All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
