Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
