Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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