had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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