Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
