Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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