One girl and one boy is just not enough.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
