she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I had to cum in my sink.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
