my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
