The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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