i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
