DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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