i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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