Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
