Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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