yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
