it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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