He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry about my life...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
