Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
