you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
