in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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