I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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