I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sext me about skeletons
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
