She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You need a sexual gate keeper
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize