I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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