I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
