At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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