Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
