I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
