We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize