So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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