Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
