Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just had sex bonerless
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
