we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
