apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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