you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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