Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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