My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
