The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
