We named our party play list daddy issues
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
