did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
