she was so not down for the gang bang
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
