no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
