I bet he comes in French.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
