My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
