last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
