Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize