I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
