i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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