Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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