She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize