I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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