What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
