just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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