I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
