it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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