brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
