I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize