it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
