I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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