Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I hope mine doesn't look like that
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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