so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize