Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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