I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
