hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Actions speak louder than pants.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
