ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
do nipples grow back?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
