This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
