thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
