Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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