Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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