Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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