My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
